"Cruelty to Animals" in Rebecca Wells' Little Altars Everywhere

I enjoyed Little Altars Everywhere a little bit more than Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood, and one of the big reasons why is the chapter "Cruelty to Animals". It's some strange cross between Flaubert and Benny Hill. I dare you to read it without laughing out loud. In fact, I think if you read it out loud to someone else you'll soon both be in stitches.